Today is a day full of mixed emotions.
Seven years ago, this was the day that changed my life direction completely. Seven years ago, this is the day I’ll never actually remember.
Part of me is grateful for that storm, for that tree. If I hadn’t been running and got hit by a tree, I wouldn’t have discovered my MS when I did. I wouldn’t have gotten treatment right away. I wouldn’t have had a name for my random issues.
Part of me is bitter for that storm, for that tree. I could have gone on not knowing and been just fine. I may have made it years without any major issues. I could have lived blind and just fine.
It’s hard living with both feelings so real and powerful today. I am still learning to accept that this is my reality. I remind myself that the day of the storm didn’t define who I am, it just added one more layer to my story. I can be okay with that… some day.
When the sharpest words wanna cut me down
I’m gonna send a flood, gonna drown them out
I am brave, I am bruised
I am who I’m meant to be, this is me
Look out ’cause here I come
And I’m marching on to the beat I drum
I’m not scared to be seen
I make no apologies, this is me
I need to remember, tree or not… This is me.
One of the more fun parts of MS is
I am blessed with being quite clumsy at times. People have actually had their doctor write a letter to let people know that they aren’t drunk, they just have MS. It’s just one extra layer of the brain neurons not always firing quite right… do to my immune system attacking my own brain.
So with all of that said, I’m getting skilled at powering through and finding different ways of coping… especially with the giant bruise currently on my knee.
Here are just a sampling of the results of my grace due to either falling, bumping into things, reacting to meds, or who knows what
With all of those, and many more, I can choose to give in or get up.
Sundays are a day of rest… mostly because I have to recharge from the previous week.
I’m doing a lot better now that I’ve been going to the gym and working hard at staying active and healthy, but a week’s worth of energy still can take it’s toll. The hubby is still amazed at my ability to literally sleep until 1pm or later on especially tough weeks. Thankfully I have a supportive family that allows that to happen.
One big symptom of MS is brain fog. You know when you walk into a room and can’t remember why? That sums me up on a daily basis. That word that just on the tip of your tongue? It might as well be in China some days. If I told you I was going to do something and I haven’t, I don’t get offended when you ask again. I know I forget, it’s not a secret. Just like the fact that I was going to post daily this month and already forgot the second day. That sums up a huge part of my life, I forgot.
Speaking of other things I forgot – Here are just a few photos I meant to post on here
March is MS awareness month and since I am all to aware of it, I thought I’d share some love this month.
This week I learned that because of the daily injections I used to do to attempt to stop my immune system from attacking my brain, I instead attacked the fat cells in my legs. The medicine killed the cells, creating a large dent in my right leg. Because I’m working hard at improving my health and body, it is becoming more and more evident. I guess I have a long way to go to get rid of more fat so it can have the chance of evening out.
In honor of Dr Seuss’ birthday today, I have a picture of my own Thing 2 from the school reading night tonight and a poem I found online…